NO CHURCH IN THE WILD

Today, Super Soul Sunday on Oprah's OWN network featured Harvard-trained brain researcher Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who had the astonishing opportunity to study her own brain responses as she endured a massive stroke at age 37, when a blood vessel burst on the left side of her brain. In her book, "My Stroke of Insight," Dr. Taylor details revelations she made about the mind/body connection as she physically worked through the feelings of being present in her body, but with the loss of language and details and movement to express her thoughts. The left hemisphere controls linear, rational thought, problem-solving, details; it is the ego of one's personality. Right-brain functions are more about the present moment, big picture perception, intuition-driven. Dr. Taylor made many observations regarding left-brain and right-brain functions that basically left her with the realization that inner peace (right hemisphere-led) can be accomplished if we learn to shut down some of our constant questioning and information processing (left-hemisphere stuff).

"Pay attention to what you are thinking, and then decide if those are thoughts that are creating the kind of life you want created," she says. "And if it's not, then change your thoughts. It's really that easy."

Call it my "a-ha" moment, but I knew right when I heard her say this, that I am in need of my own stroke. Fortunately, I don't have to go down that debilitating road that Dr. Taylor suffered through; my paralysis, examination and recovery will be self-inflicted.

See, lately my thoughts have been consumed by many things, people, situations that are mostly negative energy: things I can't control, people who have slighted me and situations that have shown me jealousy, envy, anger and just plain crazy. "Friendships" that exist no more or that have been revealed as fake; toxic, draining relationships more work than they are worth; situations from the career to courtrooms, woven out of lies and strange circumstances and even stranger alliances...actually, it's miraculous that I haven't suffered a real stroke. These subjects have taken all the left-brain energy I have, while trying to figure out, mostly, "why?" I've been disappointed and a little sad, but overall, just exhausted. Tired of left-brain activity, and as a Gemini, I really go through it. It's what I'm made of. But hearing Dr. Taylor say "change my thoughts" to change my life struck a chord with me. It would also mean I must shift my position on things: how I look at issues and with whom I choose to relate and socialize. And so be it. The negative energy and its' sources, must go. (Most of the "ships" have sailed anyway, so it is an easy feat.)

"Take responsibility for the energy you bring."

Situations, people, experiences that I choose now, must bring positive energy into my space, or none at all. The peace that I seek, is within me, just on the right-side of my own head. There's no solace to be sought outside, until I first reach inside, meditatively, assuredly, quietly. The processing of the left-brain imposes boundaries, creates separations, files situations. Once I effectively shut that down, I can be free to live in the moment, with no perceptions of the past, none of the future, just here, presently. Like Dr. Taylor, I will re-learn to walk and talk, in a different way, among different circles. Re-invention, re-creation, re-intention. I will live a little more on my right side, using my imagination and creativity even more, learning to listen, pay attention to my thoughts. There is no church in the wild; it's within. "A-ha."