Wow...if you really want to chronicle how fast time flies, try writing a blog. It seems only a few days ago I sat wondering what I would write in the first one, back on the wagon after such a long absence. And here it is already, the last weekend in January.
Well, time does march on, and that's the whole point of this now, isn't it? What are we doing with our time? What are we discovering about ourselves and others? What connections and revelations are we making? I sincerely believe that we are a disconnected people, much more so than when my parents were coming up. And this disconnect has created void and lack within ourselves.
Apparently, Berger breaking up with Carrie on a Post-it ( a real one, yellow) was just the start of the "studio gangster" approach of communication, where we hide behind a prop to say what we won't voice in person. This month, Harper's Bazaar features a nice short article penned by Ashton Kutcher, Mr. Twitter himself. He questioned whether texting, messaging and other forms of social media are changing personal relationships, depleting the romance. While Ashton seemed to admit that there's something very revealing and humble in penning an old-fashioned letter to a crush -- grammatical and spelling errors aside -- he also championed the convenience of technology. What better way to let someone (or the entire cyberworld) know that you miss your sweetheart, mere moments after you left their side for the train? Post it on Facebook! (I'm being facetious.) I subscribe to old adages; the biblical "Love is not boastful, nor conceited, nor rude..." is more my style. I don't think it particularly necessary to post public status messages all day long to one with whom I'm involved; when I see things of this nature, I tend to think the parties are desperately trying to convince themselves of something. True love is security. But I digress. We are far too public with some things now days, including private relationships. And we have become far too flippant and brief with our words to fit the fast-frame limitations of technology. Letters and calls -- not voice mail messages: hi Brett, hi Tiger -- are more than just forms of communication, they are intimate, personal experiences. Plus, pen to paper doesn't limit you to 140 characters.
Challenge yourself to truly connect with people. If you are a serial texter, tell yourself to call a friend to arrange lunch or time at the gym this week, instead of typing off a quick message. Can't get your day started without checking into Facebook at the crack of dawn? Tomorrow, delay logging on to your favorite social site until, let's say, lunchtime. It's not likely you'll miss anything, because it's all there logged for you by the hour. In fact, you may come to appreciate this more, as you can sit and read entries that have accumulated, and learn to enjoy them without instantaneously responding to everything.
These are just small steps to re-acquaint yourself to the world...the Old World where the best you could do to find out about a crush was to gossip, not Google. The world where "booty call" actually meant a phone call; not a text at 2 a.m. that says "where r u?" (see the movie). Let's talk to each other more, so that we hear inflections in voice and tone and don't have to guess if talking in all caps really means that I'm mad or that I'm just too deft to remember to stop holding down the "up" arrow button when I type. Send real cards -- beautiful ones still exist and can be found at Hallmark, Papyrus, Kate's Paperie and other lovely retailers. Don't wait for a holiday. The US Postal Service is punishing us with rising rates for not regularly patronizing their services; throw a bone their way every now and then by surprising your Mom or BFF with a colorful mailed card. Or simply leave your significant other a sweet handwritten note tucked in a coat pocket or atop a pillow.
Don't get me wrong: I know technology is something we cannot live without, and it has improved our lives a thousandfold in a plethora of ways. But at the end of the day, I cherish more the old, yellowed love letter that falls from a forgotten novel in my storage space, than a mobile phone text message composed of abbreviations and emoticons. Classic break-ups are equally appreciated: every strained sentence, emotional tear and good-bye kiss lingers in the mind's eye so much longer than a Blackberry Messenger litany. Can you imagine "Casablanca" with a text message ending? Rhett Butler typing the SMS note: "Frankly, my darlin', I don't give a damn," in "Gone With the Wind?" Strangers pass notes; businesses send formal correspondence. If we were personal, then it is not business. If I was worth it at all, ever, talk to me...even at the end. Guess I'm just old-school.
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OK, so I just basically bashed the virtues of technology...
But, where computers, mobiles and more are not the greatest for intimate communication, they are awesome for keeping you connected with volunteer efforts and those in need! Here's a list of organizations that absolutely benefit from your fascination with the efficiency and convenience afforded by pressing buttons and their average time commitments...
While in line for a latte (1-3 minutes):
Check out Causeworld, a free app available for Android and iPhones. Causeworld works on a GPS-like platform, similar to Gowalla and Foursquare, where users "check-in" at various destinations, except here, instead of badges, "karma coins" are awarded. Collected coins can be donated to organizations of the user's choice. The actual funds have already been donated by sponsor companies such as Kraft and Proctor & Gamble; Causeworld members just tell them where to direct the donations. (And best of all -- you can share your efforts with your Facebook family! I'm being facetious again.)
While shopping on-line: (10-20 minutes):
Stop by Help A Mother Out.org (HAMO), a West-coast based on-line organization that has facilitated the donation of over half a million diapers and wipes since 2009. Recognizing the gap left by WIC, food stamps and other assistance programs that do not cover diapers, HAMO has established "wish-lists" through Amazon.com: items you choose to purchase and donate are directly shipped to the Moms in need.
On a snowed-in morning (15-60 minutes):
Join Sparked.org's "on-line volunteering" community, where you can give back when it's convenient to you. Are you awesome with fundraising or grant-writing? Can you design a website in your sleep? Do you write killer press releases for a living? Turn your professional skills and talents into free work donations for organizations that need help.
