MISSONI IMPOSSIBLE

OK…my calendar was marked for weeks: I knew September 13 was D-Day, as in the day to get my azz on a line, either in person or on the web, to cop the wares from the Missoni For Target collaboration. The iconic design house and the larger-than-life retailer both dropped hints for months, and every major September fashion issue featured at least one piece: a cosmetic case here, a sweater twin set there. By the time the television ads began to air, I can honestly say that I was near salivating at the thought of chevrons and zig zags becoming my new “style” signature.

Then Fashion’s Night Out hit, and the pop-up shop here in NYC remained an enigma: I was denied entrance due to alleged “sold out” status after only 6 hours of retail traffic. After pouting a bit in FNO disappointment, “a minor hiccup,” I thought; the launch date was still on the horizon, and with a “Tar-jay” Red Card account on my side, I was confident I’d get mine, in due time.

Tuesday, Sept. 13th, I awoke at my usual time, around 6:30 a.m. I didn’t have alarms or reminders set. I checked Twitter to find that there were die-hards who tried at midnight — something I’d not even thought of (…what the hell? It’s not like these were Jay-Z tickets or anything) — but much to their dismay, most were not successful at placing orders. I logged into my Target account around 7:15 a.m., and smiled at the Missoni smorgasboard that seemed to unroll before me. I surfed around, very non-chanlantly, putting things in the online cart, then, “oh no, girl; you don’t need that,” taking them out again…just meandering around the site the way one strolls down Main Street in the Hamptons on a summer Sunday afternoon. I’d worked my way up to eight items in the cart and decided to leave it at that and checkout when, right after I’d entered my credit card info, the site crashed! White screen. ”Internal Server Error.” WTF?? I refreshed. Same screen. I used the “back” button. Twice. Nothing. I opened a new tab and logged onto the site fresh. Nada. Now, my cheeks were getting flushed. I picked up my mobile and checked the haps on Twitter. The tweets all started asking the same question: ”is the site down for maintenance?” “What’s Target doing?” “Did we crash it?!”

I looked at the clock. It was 8:04. Awwwww, lawd!! Did shoppers storm the site in sync with the stores open time?? All I had to do was place my order by 8 a.m., and I probably would have been cool! Damn, this CAN’T be happening!!! I checked the tabs I’d opened again, and then opened three more. I was logging onto Target.com from window to window, over and over. Now, it seems, Target web masters were clued in, because the cute little Bullseye doggie was now on the page, with a little tool box by his side. Great. What a Mess-oni.

But one little saving grace: every time I refreshed, the cart icon on the top right of my page still had a number “8” on top. I’d logged in to shop, so: Were my items still in the cart?? Would they be there when the site came back up? Ah! I can’t quit this now!

The power of social media had me hanging on through 11 a.m. on this Missoni-mission; I was fed constant updates through @TargetStyle and @Target (who, by the way, replied to my tweet directly, saying they were working on the getting the problem fixed). This helped me keep hope alive, and also slightly entertained by the irate tweets and eyewitness accounts of women everywhere - and clueless guys - who were experiencing Missoni fights, heartbreaks or victories that morning.

When I was able to hit the site at 11:15, my cart came back up, less 4 items, but I didn’t dally: I entered my info tout suite and placed the order. Before I even checked email for the confirmation, I quickly opened another tab to the site, chose more items (some were same pieces in different sizes - hey, this is still cheap stuff, you never know what a real L is like), and was able to place another order. My confirms came, I finally breathed and was able to get dressed and leave the house before 1 p.m. Missoni accomplished!!

Since that day, I received notes from Target almost everyday: ”your order has been delayed,” “the orders has been partially shipped,” etc. And I’ve actually been to a few stores, and was able to come up on various items in-store. Of course, I’ve seen women break out their togs already, and I must say, one girl at the DMV wearing the dress I ordered had me worried (“Oh, God, it’s gonna look like that on me?!”) But, I finally have received all parts of my online orders, and I must say, I’m quite pleased. Check out some of my Missoni swag below. Now, my concern is working this in with my many real Missoni pieces so I don’t see myself coming down every street.

Future classics?

Don’t hate!

For the home.

Winning!!

LEGENDS OF THE FALL

It's not a death. It's a change. A transformation. The beginning of the end of a cycle. A "clearing," if you will. And I welcome it. It's fitting that Rosh Hashanah (Hebrew for "head of the year") is a late September celebration in the Jewish faith: the start of a new year in a transformative season where one can literally witness the change of the leaves, the maturity of the harvest, the early slumber of the sun signaling shortened days, the cooler temps...all indicators that our surroundings will somehow be different.

While Spring may be linked to birth and growth, Fall personifies maturity, a readiness to learn, to adapt. School years matriculate in this period, a fresh start to learning, the commencement to the next level by casting away a layer or two. A famous ad campaign continues to question: "What becomes a legend most?" The unspoken answer: those with staying power, evolutionary prowess, reinventive ingenuity.

I am in my "clearing." I thought I was done, but I have been shown there is a little bit yet to do. More pieces and people need to fall away. I welcome the change, look forward to the lessons, and know that it is not just what I witness, but what I, too become. And I am legendary. Let's go.

"Summer is already better, but the best is autumn. It is mature, reasonable and serious, it glows moderately and not frivolously...It cools down, clears up, makes you reasonable..."

Valentin, Finnish author

You'd Kill Yourself Over Me? Gee, Thanks

"N-n-now that that don't kill me/Can only make me stronger..."

'Stronger,' Kanye West

There's this horrible disease going around; you may have heard of it. It begins with a series of symptoms that are sometimes easy to miss: fear, insecurity, lack of self-esteem or self-worth. Often, people who come down with this ailment mask it so well, one can't readily diagnose the illness, but often, like a virus, the disease spreads; a contagion that floats from one unhappy, miserable soul to another. But the irony is, the illness is borne out of the negative wishes and intent to do harm to others.

Envy, little brother to Jealousy, is a silent killer disease that is dangerous to everyone involved. Projections of self-doubt, magnifications of personal problems, the result of missed opportunities, the learned behavior of a heritage of failure and low self-esteem, are all reminders of who you aren't and who you wish to be. Think about it. And he who suffers the greatest would act on those symptoms, the one driven so mad by envy he would go out of his way to pass his disease to you. The one who has time on his hands to fabricate stories, weave tales of lies and hope for your demise surely has very little going on for himself. No job? Failed or failing relationships, marriage, parenting? Can't get a project off the ground? Financial struggles? Sounds about right. The universe has a way of balancing actions. (Uh, "karma," anyone?)

What kind of person makes themselves ill in this manner? Why want what others have anyway? Other's destinies are rewards and results of their lot, whether by chance, by prayer, by sweat, or perhaps by means that they themselves will answer to at another time. The trappings of success, beauty, wealth and even love are very specific to individuals. Just because that guy’s fashion line is successful, doesn’t mean yours would be, even in the same market. That girl’s nose on you would not guarantee you the cover of the magazine. Money is funny – not everyone gains or spends it with the same results. And love, well love is the tricky one. If one is envious of a situation, be it a romantic relationship, a marriage, a friendship or family, we completely miss the point of those situations: all are built on love. Jealousy and envy are not loving emotions, so the more one expresses negative action towards loving concepts, the farther away one places himself from just that ideal. In short, the negativity behind jealousy and envy backfires, with the intended target not the only victim.

So, hate on, hater. I guess since you would commit suicide over me proves you actually love me. Damn, I'm flattered.

"Fortunate is the One who has learned to admire, but not to envy."

-- Unknown, quoted as a Ramadan blessing

A LOVE SUPREME?

Wow, what a run the last 30 days or so has been. Where I started out the year trying to live in truth and in the light; in humility and in service, as usual, someone sees it fit to throw their wrench into my works. In my mind, I have crashed my car into the offenders and run them straight over. I have rang their doorbell, only to have them answer and I rush in and tackle them to the floor, beating them senseless. In one of my best mind-revenge plots, I set fire to their house while standing laughing on the lawn. But, alas, I have no time for jail time, so those scenarios remain unplayed, unrehearsed, even. Rather, in dealing with the circumstances, I have looked to land here, and tell my tale in sarcastic, caustic tone, to vent the emotions. Many times, my fingers landed on the letters to make up the words, phrases and sentences to describe the characters and their traits, but in doing so, my digits made clamor, the tips hurt...I struck the Mac Air keys with such angry force, I startled myself.

You can't do this. This is not how you said you'd live. He who asks for protection cannot fight another's. Literally, it came to me in the last hour of my birthday: a beloved book fell from the shelf. When I reached to pick it up, my fingers grasped the dog-eared page that was a message I desperately needed to hear.

From Iyanla Van Zant's Acts of Faith:

The moment we have a negative experience, we get stuck in what was done and how it was done to us. We must learn not to take life so personally. People are not really out to get us. Events are not waiting to befall us. We are all moving to get where we want to be. As a result, we will sometimes step on each others' toes. When we find ourselves in a conflict or confrontation we must know how to love ourselves out of it. Love means recognizing fear as an operand condition that sometimes makes us do and say things we really don't mean. Love means opening our hearts and minds to our best, regardless of what is going on. Love means not attacking, but supporting, not defending, but seeking clarity. Love means knowing that, in the end, we will all be okay even if it means we have to give up a little of something. Let us learn to give up anger and fear by replacing those things with love.

--I am loving you and me out of this situation.

On this day, the summer solstice, I give all the faith I have unto my love, my love supreme, to guide me out and away from the situations, scenes and swindlers who continue to try to steal my joy. And you should do the same.

USE 'EM (OR LOSE 'EM!)

We’ve roughly 100 days of this concept called “summer,” so while spontaneity is sexy, sometimes it’s best to plan ahead. iCandy wants to help with this little guide (below) to some choice events and awesome photo ops in and around the NYC/ NJ /PHL /DC area on the radar from May through September. By no means complete, it can serve as a reminder to check for other updates to come, like Brooklyn’s Wingate Park (terminally slow with their info) and Good Morning America’s concert series in Central Park (they dropped names -- Beyonce, MJB, JHud, Nicki Minaj -- but no dates yet). To keep it tight, no hyperlinks were added, but Google any event listed here with the date, or check the web addresses included on some calendars at the bottom, and you’re sure to get all the details you need. We concentrated on mostly music concerts and mostly FREE events (unless you see “$”), so there’s NO excuse to get yo' azz up, throw on your fresh gear (cuz broke/cheap folk are usually the flyest), and post at some of these spots! Memories are made of such moves…Happy 100.

KEEPIN' IT "ONE HUNN'ED"