Newness...

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NO CHURCH IN THE WILD

Today, Super Soul Sunday on Oprah's OWN network featured Harvard-trained brain researcher Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who had the astonishing opportunity to study her own brain responses as she endured a massive stroke at age 37, when a blood vessel burst on the left side of her brain. In her book, "My Stroke of Insight," Dr. Taylor details revelations she made about the mind/body connection as she physically worked through the feelings of being present in her body, but with the loss of language and details and movement to express her thoughts. The left hemisphere controls linear, rational thought, problem-solving, details; it is the ego of one's personality. Right-brain functions are more about the present moment, big picture perception, intuition-driven. Dr. Taylor made many observations regarding left-brain and right-brain functions that basically left her with the realization that inner peace (right hemisphere-led) can be accomplished if we learn to shut down some of our constant questioning and information processing (left-hemisphere stuff).

"Pay attention to what you are thinking, and then decide if those are thoughts that are creating the kind of life you want created," she says. "And if it's not, then change your thoughts. It's really that easy."

Call it my "a-ha" moment, but I knew right when I heard her say this, that I am in need of my own stroke. Fortunately, I don't have to go down that debilitating road that Dr. Taylor suffered through; my paralysis, examination and recovery will be self-inflicted.

See, lately my thoughts have been consumed by many things, people, situations that are mostly negative energy: things I can't control, people who have slighted me and situations that have shown me jealousy, envy, anger and just plain crazy. "Friendships" that exist no more or that have been revealed as fake; toxic, draining relationships more work than they are worth; situations from the career to courtrooms, woven out of lies and strange circumstances and even stranger alliances...actually, it's miraculous that I haven't suffered a real stroke. These subjects have taken all the left-brain energy I have, while trying to figure out, mostly, "why?" I've been disappointed and a little sad, but overall, just exhausted. Tired of left-brain activity, and as a Gemini, I really go through it. It's what I'm made of. But hearing Dr. Taylor say "change my thoughts" to change my life struck a chord with me. It would also mean I must shift my position on things: how I look at issues and with whom I choose to relate and socialize. And so be it. The negative energy and its' sources, must go. (Most of the "ships" have sailed anyway, so it is an easy feat.)

"Take responsibility for the energy you bring."

Situations, people, experiences that I choose now, must bring positive energy into my space, or none at all. The peace that I seek, is within me, just on the right-side of my own head. There's no solace to be sought outside, until I first reach inside, meditatively, assuredly, quietly. The processing of the left-brain imposes boundaries, creates separations, files situations. Once I effectively shut that down, I can be free to live in the moment, with no perceptions of the past, none of the future, just here, presently. Like Dr. Taylor, I will re-learn to walk and talk, in a different way, among different circles. Re-invention, re-creation, re-intention. I will live a little more on my right side, using my imagination and creativity even more, learning to listen, pay attention to my thoughts. There is no church in the wild; it's within. "A-ha."

LINK PINK!

Today marks the start of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Every October for 27 years now, advocates for prevention and cure have promoted awareness of breast cancer issues tirelessly, making the month not only a tribute to lives lost but a celebration of the many women - and men - who have survived the disease. It is estimated that each year, 200,000 women and nearly 1,700 men are diagnosed with breast cancer, but with increased awareness and open dialogue, prevention and early detection are on the rise and patients are coping better and surviving the disease in increasingly higher numbers.

Please take some time this month to explore “pink possibilities:” check some of the links I’ve listed below to learn more about the disease, donate to finding a cure, sign up for a walk, run, or other benefit event, or even shop pink products knowing that a portion of the proceeds go to the cause. Think Pink!

ORGANIZATIONS:

* National Breast Cancer Foundation

* Pink Ribbon International

* Circle of Promise - meet the Queens of Keeping it Real

SHOP PINK:

* Pink Pony by Ralph Lauren

* BJ’s & Proctor & Gamble join forces to support breast cancer research

* NFL Shop has Breast Cancer Awareness gear from your favorite team!

NATIONWIDE EVENTS:

* AVON Walk for Breast Cancer (NYC, Oct. 15-16)

* Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure

* Pink Illumination is a global recognition of the awareness drive, and features prominent architectural landmarks bathed in pink light on October 1. Some scenes from past years are below.

MISSONI IMPOSSIBLE

OK…my calendar was marked for weeks: I knew September 13 was D-Day, as in the day to get my azz on a line, either in person or on the web, to cop the wares from the Missoni For Target collaboration. The iconic design house and the larger-than-life retailer both dropped hints for months, and every major September fashion issue featured at least one piece: a cosmetic case here, a sweater twin set there. By the time the television ads began to air, I can honestly say that I was near salivating at the thought of chevrons and zig zags becoming my new “style” signature.

Then Fashion’s Night Out hit, and the pop-up shop here in NYC remained an enigma: I was denied entrance due to alleged “sold out” status after only 6 hours of retail traffic. After pouting a bit in FNO disappointment, “a minor hiccup,” I thought; the launch date was still on the horizon, and with a “Tar-jay” Red Card account on my side, I was confident I’d get mine, in due time.

Tuesday, Sept. 13th, I awoke at my usual time, around 6:30 a.m. I didn’t have alarms or reminders set. I checked Twitter to find that there were die-hards who tried at midnight — something I’d not even thought of (…what the hell? It’s not like these were Jay-Z tickets or anything) — but much to their dismay, most were not successful at placing orders. I logged into my Target account around 7:15 a.m., and smiled at the Missoni smorgasboard that seemed to unroll before me. I surfed around, very non-chanlantly, putting things in the online cart, then, “oh no, girl; you don’t need that,” taking them out again…just meandering around the site the way one strolls down Main Street in the Hamptons on a summer Sunday afternoon. I’d worked my way up to eight items in the cart and decided to leave it at that and checkout when, right after I’d entered my credit card info, the site crashed! White screen. ”Internal Server Error.” WTF?? I refreshed. Same screen. I used the “back” button. Twice. Nothing. I opened a new tab and logged onto the site fresh. Nada. Now, my cheeks were getting flushed. I picked up my mobile and checked the haps on Twitter. The tweets all started asking the same question: ”is the site down for maintenance?” “What’s Target doing?” “Did we crash it?!”

I looked at the clock. It was 8:04. Awwwww, lawd!! Did shoppers storm the site in sync with the stores open time?? All I had to do was place my order by 8 a.m., and I probably would have been cool! Damn, this CAN’T be happening!!! I checked the tabs I’d opened again, and then opened three more. I was logging onto Target.com from window to window, over and over. Now, it seems, Target web masters were clued in, because the cute little Bullseye doggie was now on the page, with a little tool box by his side. Great. What a Mess-oni.

But one little saving grace: every time I refreshed, the cart icon on the top right of my page still had a number “8” on top. I’d logged in to shop, so: Were my items still in the cart?? Would they be there when the site came back up? Ah! I can’t quit this now!

The power of social media had me hanging on through 11 a.m. on this Missoni-mission; I was fed constant updates through @TargetStyle and @Target (who, by the way, replied to my tweet directly, saying they were working on the getting the problem fixed). This helped me keep hope alive, and also slightly entertained by the irate tweets and eyewitness accounts of women everywhere - and clueless guys - who were experiencing Missoni fights, heartbreaks or victories that morning.

When I was able to hit the site at 11:15, my cart came back up, less 4 items, but I didn’t dally: I entered my info tout suite and placed the order. Before I even checked email for the confirmation, I quickly opened another tab to the site, chose more items (some were same pieces in different sizes - hey, this is still cheap stuff, you never know what a real L is like), and was able to place another order. My confirms came, I finally breathed and was able to get dressed and leave the house before 1 p.m. Missoni accomplished!!

Since that day, I received notes from Target almost everyday: ”your order has been delayed,” “the orders has been partially shipped,” etc. And I’ve actually been to a few stores, and was able to come up on various items in-store. Of course, I’ve seen women break out their togs already, and I must say, one girl at the DMV wearing the dress I ordered had me worried (“Oh, God, it’s gonna look like that on me?!”) But, I finally have received all parts of my online orders, and I must say, I’m quite pleased. Check out some of my Missoni swag below. Now, my concern is working this in with my many real Missoni pieces so I don’t see myself coming down every street.

Future classics?

Don’t hate!

For the home.

Winning!!

LEGENDS OF THE FALL

It's not a death. It's a change. A transformation. The beginning of the end of a cycle. A "clearing," if you will. And I welcome it. It's fitting that Rosh Hashanah (Hebrew for "head of the year") is a late September celebration in the Jewish faith: the start of a new year in a transformative season where one can literally witness the change of the leaves, the maturity of the harvest, the early slumber of the sun signaling shortened days, the cooler temps...all indicators that our surroundings will somehow be different.

While Spring may be linked to birth and growth, Fall personifies maturity, a readiness to learn, to adapt. School years matriculate in this period, a fresh start to learning, the commencement to the next level by casting away a layer or two. A famous ad campaign continues to question: "What becomes a legend most?" The unspoken answer: those with staying power, evolutionary prowess, reinventive ingenuity.

I am in my "clearing." I thought I was done, but I have been shown there is a little bit yet to do. More pieces and people need to fall away. I welcome the change, look forward to the lessons, and know that it is not just what I witness, but what I, too become. And I am legendary. Let's go.

"Summer is already better, but the best is autumn. It is mature, reasonable and serious, it glows moderately and not frivolously...It cools down, clears up, makes you reasonable..."

Valentin, Finnish author

You'd Kill Yourself Over Me? Gee, Thanks

"N-n-now that that don't kill me/Can only make me stronger..."

'Stronger,' Kanye West

There's this horrible disease going around; you may have heard of it. It begins with a series of symptoms that are sometimes easy to miss: fear, insecurity, lack of self-esteem or self-worth. Often, people who come down with this ailment mask it so well, one can't readily diagnose the illness, but often, like a virus, the disease spreads; a contagion that floats from one unhappy, miserable soul to another. But the irony is, the illness is borne out of the negative wishes and intent to do harm to others.

Envy, little brother to Jealousy, is a silent killer disease that is dangerous to everyone involved. Projections of self-doubt, magnifications of personal problems, the result of missed opportunities, the learned behavior of a heritage of failure and low self-esteem, are all reminders of who you aren't and who you wish to be. Think about it. And he who suffers the greatest would act on those symptoms, the one driven so mad by envy he would go out of his way to pass his disease to you. The one who has time on his hands to fabricate stories, weave tales of lies and hope for your demise surely has very little going on for himself. No job? Failed or failing relationships, marriage, parenting? Can't get a project off the ground? Financial struggles? Sounds about right. The universe has a way of balancing actions. (Uh, "karma," anyone?)

What kind of person makes themselves ill in this manner? Why want what others have anyway? Other's destinies are rewards and results of their lot, whether by chance, by prayer, by sweat, or perhaps by means that they themselves will answer to at another time. The trappings of success, beauty, wealth and even love are very specific to individuals. Just because that guy’s fashion line is successful, doesn’t mean yours would be, even in the same market. That girl’s nose on you would not guarantee you the cover of the magazine. Money is funny – not everyone gains or spends it with the same results. And love, well love is the tricky one. If one is envious of a situation, be it a romantic relationship, a marriage, a friendship or family, we completely miss the point of those situations: all are built on love. Jealousy and envy are not loving emotions, so the more one expresses negative action towards loving concepts, the farther away one places himself from just that ideal. In short, the negativity behind jealousy and envy backfires, with the intended target not the only victim.

So, hate on, hater. I guess since you would commit suicide over me proves you actually love me. Damn, I'm flattered.

"Fortunate is the One who has learned to admire, but not to envy."

-- Unknown, quoted as a Ramadan blessing